Recently my mind has been thinking about the heart a lot. I have currently been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks after a recent surgery. I do not like living in this state of constant fear and worry about everything. I have been able to find things that have helped my body a lot in what it might be missing or needing to lessen these attacks, but a lot of it is recognizing the power of my own thinking, beliefs and mindset.
So this last week as I studied the story of Enoch in the scriptures I kept having this image of the heart come to mind. At that time everyone was of one heart, had peace and were filled with the love of God. This story was in contrast to the scripture that talked about men’s hearts failing them in the last days because of fear. Fear is just an emotion. An emotion that my body creates in response to a percieved or real threat. Most of the fear I have been feeling from the recent attacks were not from an actual threat at the moment, but fear of the future, or possible hardships, struggles, worries, trials etc. For the first time some aspects of the gospel were not comforting, they brought more anxiety & the scriptures brought more panic. Prayer never did though, especially when someone else prayed for me. That brought peace.
It had gotten better though this week as I’ve read and studied Enoch’s story. To see that his days were just as scary, horrible and wicked as ours and yet they found peace in all of it. And the story has made me realize the power I can give to the adversary when I choose to let my mind and my heart go to those fearful places, rather than fighting it with faith.
If those fears actually came to pass he could possibly steal my peace and joy then, but I was willingly letting him take my peace and joy today when those things aren’t even happening. I was letting him take today’s peace and joy for the POSSIBILITY of something terrible happening later.
But if I choose to have faith in my God, his ability to make everything work out for my gain and good, who desires to bless, strengthen and help me, then I can live in peace instead of fear.
It had also made me think of Moses and his encounter with Satan after his great vision. At one point the scriptures say that Satan ranted and raved trying to get Moses to worship him, and for one instance Moses was filled with fear, and that fear let him see the bitterness of hell. And in that instant he decided to choose faith and calling on the name of Jesus Christ, which then led to Satan having to leave. Fear is only an emotion, which I can choose to give in to. When I do, I choose to let Satan rule my heart because all my actions will be based on fear. I have been grateful for the story of Enoch and Moses that has been teaching me all week that it doesn’t have to be that way. That instead my choices, my actions, my faith can eventually make it so that Satan is bound and can have no power over me. He doesn’t need to steal my joy and peace today or tomorrow.
Anxiety is real, it is paralyzing and debilitating. There are physical things I needed to address it, there are serious mind exercises and therapy to change my thinking. But it is also my choice as to whether I’m going to let faith or fear have hold of my heart. Which led to me expressing some of these feelings about the heart in this little drawing, a little reminder for me of what I want my heart filled with.
“Take heart, brothers and sisters. Yes, we live in perilous times, but as we stay on the covenant path, we need not fear. I bless you that as you do so, you will not be troubled by the times in which we live or the troubles that come your way. I bless you to choose to stand in holy places and be not moved. I bless you to believe in the promises of Jesus Christ, that He lives and that He is watching over us, caring for us and standing by us” Elder Ronald A. Rasband
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